Meditation is About Reps

Meditation doesn’t get easier because your mind finally becomes silent. It gets easier because you stop treating every thought like an emergency. In this episode, I'm digging into the alchemy of meditation through a science-backed lens: attention training, how the brain learns, and why distraction isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong, it’s the exact moment the practice is working.

Book recommendation: Wherever You Go, There You Are, by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

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For more insights on psychology, neuroscience, and mental wellness, you can go to my website, www.natashasheyenne.com for my blog, events, courses, and to sign up for my newsletter. 

Thank you for listening to Life, Alchemized.
If something here resonated, let it settle before you rush forward.
Awareness is already movement

Transcript

Welcome And The Real Problem

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to Life Alchemized, where science meets inner transformation. I'm your host, Natasha, a leadership coach, psychologist, and neuroscientist. And today we're talking about the alchemy of meditation, which is about attention, the brain, and learning how to work with your mind. If you've ever tried meditation, there's a good chance your first thought was something like, I'm not good at this. Your mind wandered, you got distracted, you started thinking about your to-do list, or you just felt restless and uncomfortable. And at some point you probably wondered, am I doing this wrong? But here's the reality: that experience is part of the practice. Because meditation is not about having no thoughts, it's about learning how to relate to your thoughts differently. And once you understand what's actually happening in the brain, meditation starts to make a lot more sense. It becomes less mysterious, less intimidating, and a lot more practical.

Meditation Is Training Attention

SPEAKER_00 1:12

So let's simplify this. At its core, meditation is training your attention. That's it. You choose something to focus on, whether that's your breath, your body, a sound, and you bring your attention back to it when your mind wanders. And your mind will wander constantly because that's what the brain does. So meditation is not about stopping your thoughts, it's about noticing when your attention drifts and bringing it back over and over again. And that repetition is what creates change.

What Neuroscience Shows In Practice

SPEAKER_00 1:51

From a neuroscience perspective, meditation affects several key systems. First, attention networks. So regions like the prefrontal cortex and anterior cingulate cortex are involved in directing and sustaining attention. Studies have shown that regular meditation practice can strengthen activity in these areas, improving focus and cognitive control. The second system is the default mode network. And this is the network that becomes active when your mind is wandering, thinking about the past, imagining the future, or replaying conversations. Meditation has been associated with reduced activity in this network, particularly in patterns linked to rumination. And that's one reason people often report feeling less mentally busy over time. The third system is emotional regulation. So the amygdala, which is involved in threat detection and emotional reactivity, can become less reactive with consistent practice. At the same time, connections between the prefrontal cortex and emotional centers can strengthen, which supports better regulation. So meditation is not just relaxing, it's changing how different parts of the brain communicate.

De-Centering And The Gap

SPEAKER_00 3:15

From a psychological perspective, one of the biggest benefits of meditation is something called de-centering. This is the ability to see your thoughts as events in the mind rather than absolute truths. So, for example, instead of thinking, this is going to go badly, you begin to notice, I'm having the thought that this might go badly. And that small shift creates distance. And that distance reduces emotional reactivity. This is one reason meditation is used in therapies like mindfulness-based stress reduction and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy. Both of these have strong research support for reducing stress, anxiety, and even relapse and depression. One of the biggest misconceptions about meditation is that you're supposed to be calm the whole time. But from a learning perspective, the important moment is when your attention stays. It's when it wanders and comes back. That's the repetition that builds skill. It's similar to building a muscle, right? The rep is the return. So if your mind wanders 50 times in a session and you bring it back 50 times, that's not a bad session. It's a very active one. So where does the alchemy show up? It shows up in a very specific shift. Without meditation, thoughts and emotions tend to move quickly into action. You think something, you feel something, you react. With meditation, there's a gap. You think something, you notice it, and you choose how to respond. And the gap is small, but it changes everything because it gives you flexibility. Instead of being pulled by every thought or emotion, you can engage with them more intentionally.

When Meditation Feels Uncomfortable

SPEAKER_00 5:12

It's also worth addressing this directly. Meditation can feel uncomfortable at the beginning. I know it certainly did for me. It took me several months, maybe even several years, to feel fully comfortable with my meditation practice. And this is because when you stop distracting yourself, you start noticing what's already there. The restlessness, the worry, the mental noise. But those things were already present. Meditation just makes them more visible. And over time, as you practice, your relationship to them changes. They become less overwhelming, less sticky, and more like passing events. I resisted meditation for so long. So these are actually some practices that help me get into it more fully and that still help me when I get back into it when I step away from it, because sometimes life just happens.

Simple Practices To Start Today

SPEAKER_00 6:10

Remember that you don't need an hour. You don't need a perfect environment. You just need a starting point. So first you want to start small. Begin with just two to five minutes. Consistency matters more than duration. Second, you want to use the breath as an anchor. So focus on the sensation of breathing, not controlling it, just noticing it. You want to expect distraction. Your mind will wander. That's normal. Like we said, the practice is bringing it back. Be neutral and not harsh. When your attention drifts, don't judge it, just return. Try anchoring in your body. So if breath feels difficult, then you can focus on your feet on the ground, where your hands are placed, or other physical sensations. And then finally, you want to build it into your day. So attach meditation to something you already do. So whether that's your morning routine, right after work, as you're getting into bed, that really helps make it stick. And with consistent practice, people often notice improved focus, reduced reactivity, they have greater awareness of thoughts, and more emotional stability. And this is not because thoughts disappear, but because their relationship to those thoughts changes. Meditation is not just something you can do sitting still. It shows up in conversations, stressful moments, decision making, conflict, that ability to pause, to notice, to respond instead of react. That is meditation applied. Meditation is not about becoming a different person. It's about becoming more aware of how your mind already works. And the alchemy is simple. You take something automatic, your thoughts, your reactions, your attention, and you bring your awareness to it. And that awareness creates space. And in that space, you have more choice, more clarity, more flexibility, not perfectly, but more often. And over time, that changes how you experience your life. Not because the world becomes quieter, but because your relationship to it becomes steadier.

A Book To Go Deeper

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Before we close, I want to highlight a book that pairs beautifully with everything we've talked about today. And that book is Wherever You Go, There You Are by John K. Bot Zinn. This author is one of the pioneers of bringing mindfulness into modern psychology and medicine, particularly through his work on mindfulness-based stress reduction. And what makes this book stand out is how simple and direct it is. He doesn't present mindfulness as something complicated or reserved for experts. He presents it as something very human, very accessible. And at its core, the message is this: you don't need to go somewhere else, become someone else, or fix everything about your life in order to be present. You can start right where you are. The author also emphasizes that mindfulness is about paying attention on purpose in the present moment without judgment. And that last part, without judgment, is especially important. Because many people approach meditation and awareness with the mindset of trying to get it right. But the practice is not about perfection. Like we've said, it's about returning again and again. What connects this to today's episode is the idea that meditation isn't about escaping your thoughts or your life. It's about changing your relationship to them. If your mind wanders, that's not a problem. That's part of being human. The practice is noticing that it did wander and gently coming back.

Closing Reflection On Awareness

SPEAKER_00 10:20

Thank you for listening to Life Alchemine. If something here resonated, let it settle before you rush forward. Awareness is already moving.